Someone made a nice comment about the gold in my eyes
One time in like 5th grade I had this teacher and she gave us all bottles of shit like this and told us to squeeze it all out and of course we were like fuck yeah and did it and then she said, “Now, try and shove it all back in the container.” Of course we all tried, and then stared at her confused as shit. When we all obviously gave up, she said, “In the moment, you were so consumed with what you were doing that you didn’t realize the mess you were making. Then, after it was so quickly and easily poured out, you realize it is impossible to put it all back in. Remember this for the rest of your lives when it comes to the words that come out of your mouth” and we were like 10 so we were like yeah ok whatever lady, but somehow to this day I think of it constantly.
i find it so incredibly attractive when someone is really good at something, like you can play the violin? damn son. you’re a really talented dj? good for you! i don’t care if you talk to me about quantum physics for an hour straight if i can see the passion in you at some point in that hour i’ll think “whoa, this is really hot.”
all i want in a guy is a handsome, dark, gentle guy who’s also intelligent, funny, has good music taste, but also dominant enough to defend me when people piss me off… and he needs to be able to beat the pussy up good
what do i do on tumbler
get in your mum’s car
haven’t heard that one before
My mom yelled at me for sharing this w/ my dog
♪ real human being and a real hero ♪
just so we’re clear if i ever become famous you guys totally have my 100% permission to use me to get back at any bitches who teased you in school like im not even kidding just send me a message with your situation and i will fly my ass out to your high school reunion or whatever and be your +1 and we can regale all the bitches with the fantastic stories of our foolhardy adventures and THEY WILL NEVER KNOW
Under no circumstances can I say this is not ridiculously funny.
has a muslim man ever played abraham lincoln
has an aboriginal woman ever played elizabeth I
has a black man ever played george washington
has a turkish woman ever played eleanor of aquitaine
then why the fuck would you get the whitest white men to play Ramesses II and Moses